DCMAbeyond (home of beunvarnished): Learning the True Meaning of Surrender: Day 23 of 100

The lesson is being taught.
The stubborn student has been humbled.
Put in her place she comes to understand what these teachings have brought...
Unconditional Love. Wisdom. Faith

I cannot lie. I am heartbroken. I feel like I just broke up with my high school sweetheart (as if I ever had one, ha). I swear we were meant to be forever and ever.

I came to learn that Hawaii was not for me, at least not for now. In other words I did not make it to Hawaii. (Last update of Hawaii dreams here)

Silence....

I struggled hard. I wanted this dream so bad it hurt. Emotionally and spiritually it took me to levels I had not experienced. I did not know I could love something so hard while knowing in the back of my mind, it was never mine. Man, I'm good at.

However, as I removed the pressures of realizing this dream I felt a blanket of peace thrown gently over me, a caress on my cheek, a kiss on my forehead and wise and loving voice say:
It's all well my child. Your turn is next.

I am learning the true art of Manifestation. The art of believing, knowing and realizing so to be an open, allowing and cooperative component so the divine flow of creation can dance in every cell of who I am. The mastery is an ongoing school.

You must experience both sides/contrasts/extremes to TRULY know what you need and desire. I planned to stay in Hawaii, but was that truly what I wanted or was I falling for another "Texas adventure"?

The Grand Master of Life is teaching me the much work I STILL have to do within. Uuugh, can I ever get a break? Ok, I am humble and admit that I have slacked and have tried many short cuts.
... pssst. That shit doesn't work!

I am jobless, coach surfing, eating whatever I can get my hands on, and actually, that is quite an abundant platter. My body and nutrition need to my focused attention. I have no stability or foundations. Again, I am a lost bird with no home but the skies.

Wow. This sounds so depressing...

Believe me, I'm chill. I have enough Sagittarius to keep my spirits up...
::: Now, let me go check the kitchen for more ice cream, donuts and wine:::

On a serious note, again and again, universe provides and takes care of me. I was offered a private room with ridiculous amount of stocked food (not always a good thing for this cancer moon with the tendency of obesity... is this the 3rd time mentioning food in the same non-food-related post. Woa. Well, what the hell! Make it four: Check my Bite Me, Facebook page btw), a beautiful garden and simply welcoming and grounding love, which is much needed and appreciated in these times of trial.

I believe this universe at its best mercy pleading that I get my shit together.

... and I will. Bare with me, Divine for my flesh is weak.

There are always second, thrice and more chances. God is forever patient, however may I give you some words of wisdom? Use each one wisely and to the fullest, my dears.

With humbled love,
Queen Goddess

THE ROOM