Get up, Brush It Off and Keep on Moving: Day 9 of 100

I was not lying when I said... "I have commitment issues".

It's been 13 days since I've updated my "daily" blog. Yes, a bit embarrassing, but I'm not beating myself up for it. I am quite gentle and kind with myself, sometimes I wonder if I am too gentle.

Because I like taking no responsibilities for my actions, I will freely blame it all on the Mercury Retrograde. Tell me these last weeks have not been tough! I know it has. Everyone around me has felt it, astrologers which I follow have been reporting it to be the most intense.


Mercury is all about communication, the mind and transportation. It has been a zoo in my head with not the easiest animals to tame. I will say, even though intense, it definitely has been a blessing in disguise. I have done a lot of  REconsidering, REplanning, REorganizing.. just in all REthinking all things in general.

So much rethinking during this REtrograde has left me surprisingly even more confused than ever, and now I am really feeling in a spot of doubt and fear, but paradoxically, with a knowing that it will eventually turn out well, as it always has.

I have been consumed by work, and its forcing me to learn balance and empowering myself to know when to speak up and say no or allow and say yes. Texas and it's masculine energy is quite tough. I am used to the gentle caresses of the goddess and feminine energy. The "it will turn out alright" lifestyle. The "we got it for you, hun" vibe from the angels. With this masculine energy, I am having to grow some serious balls and go do it myself... and I am not a fan of this. Sorry.

This Retrograde has also supported my discovery and learning dealing with relationships. It has truly been an eye opener. I learned about my intense personality. I learned I talk too much. I learned I can talk about the wrong things to the wrong people and consequently scare those people away. I know, so sad. Haaa, but these are unvarnished truths which need be known for my overall progress, especially when dealing with relationships.

The trick is not to sweat it. I mean, I most possibly could have "screwed up" (as humans like to put it) my life these last couple of weeks, maybe months. BUT whining and complaining will not get me any further than deeper in the hole. That being said, I am ok with my fuck ups. They are part of a beautiful transformation, when enormous periods of growth manifest. Keeping a optimistic outlook will ensure I don't keep fuckin' up my future with negative vibrations.

Oh! And here goes another discovery.. I am really considering on focusing my energy full time on winning the lottery and working for Ellen. Yup.

I haven't lost my mind.. I am just know discovering and finding the essence of it.
Queen Goddess